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That’s fine and to make you feel more heard I’ll even repeat the most common point used to counter my argument ― “but people like what they like.

Can’t change that.” I’ve heard that excuse, or some iteration of it, used many times.

Assuming that things went well at the club, sometime in the next few days one of you (it might just as well be the girl as the boy) will text the other and ask them out for a The fact that both of you are aware that you’re on a date while simultaneously pretending that it’s not a date can make things quite awkward, but that’s how it’s done.

To keep the conversation non-datish, the subjects you talk about are usually very neutral ones such as the housing market, Stockholm versus Gothenburg, how great your i Phones are, or how much the public transportation system irritates you (actually, the Swedish public transportation system is among the best ones in the world).

No matter how you slice it, it’s racist.equally, especially in this country.

Every Black and Asian man who grew up on this planet grew up surrounded by positive images of whiteness and white men.

Before I begin, I want you to understand that I’m not calling all of you racist.

You can’t say you prefer one race of people as romantic partners, or anything really, to another because all of the people who belong to one race are not the same.

I know it can be hard to find the right words while expressing your preferences when it comes to what you’re looking for in a partner. really lost, when it comes to stating your preferences properly.

To be clear, you’re allowed to describe the kind of guy you’re looking for and the things that turn you on but specifying the race of your desired partner is a line that is not to be crossed. I should point out that I’ve had this conversation with more than a couple of white gays in person and here is where the debate usually begins, so I’m going to assume that you’re rolling your eyes at me right about now.

Therefore, our desire to date within our own race, when we choose to, is not rooted in any assertion made by society that we’re better than anyone else.

I know this is a lot to digest so I’ll just boil it down to this: if your preference for a partner supports an existing racial hierarchy which marginalizes minorities, then your preferences are racist. If you’re making of your dating decisions with a person’s race in mind, that’s racist.

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